If only I’d known about this for review a bad game day…

Ryu’s Grandad squares off against Jason Statham in Human Killing Machine

“Worst game ever? Human Killing Machine, Capcom. Seriously, look it up. I have a copy of it on disk, given away by Amiga Power, I believe.” @GuyFawkesRetro

The above tweet peaked my curiosity, I boldly replied “Worst game ever? I have a sudden urge to try it.” And so I did. As you know I recently reviewed Yolanda! for review a bad game day, however if I’d known about this one it would have been a serious contender. I actually felt like playing Yolanda! after this, in fact, I felt like playing Rise of the Robots just to wash away the memories.

Luckily for Kwon, Igor’s rifle is out of bullets.

You play as Kwon, who is apparently strong. You have to knock down (no K.O’s here) your opponent a number of times to win, your first battle is against Igor, once you’ve defeated him you then fight his dog (I’m assuming) which in my mind is just plain mean. I didn’t get much further than that, the collision detection is terrible, the controls unmanageable, and the poor animation lets down the relatively good graphics and backgrounds. At points I had no idea how or what I was doing to hit the opponent as the controls didn’t really match with anything on the screen.

As adverts go it’s pretty effective, it screams “Buy it, or we’ll cut you”.

A couple of player comments from Lemon Amiga:

“A clone of Street Fighter. Strangely, they took the Amiga version with its bad animations as reference and not the arcade version. So you got the same gameplay as SF, but executed even worse.”

“Often described as the next best thing (or something like that…) on many games-mags previews at the time, this soon revealed itself for the unforgivable, unplayable, Tiertex-developed utter disaster it actually was. If you played it for more than 10 minutes and survived, congratulations: that sure was a big task…”

Anyways, if you must see more, see below for the game on YouTube, someone has kindly played through the whole thing. Also good luck to @GuyFawkesRetro on twitter, who is on the search for the ultimate bad game…. (I think you may have found it?)


2 thoughts on “If only I’d known about this for review a bad game day…

  1. I watched the first 3 minutes of the YouTube video and decided I’d seen enough. Have you played Superman on the N64? That is probably the worst game I’ve ever played, purely because of how frustratingly difficult it was – I cried on many occasions because I couldn’t get past the first level. You’d think flying through hoops would be easy, but noooooooooooo.

    God, just thinking about it is making me angry. I’m going to go and break something. *Walks away, grumbling*

    (Great blog, by the way!)

    1. Thanks 🙂

      At least you got 3 minutes into the video, impressive. I’ve not played Superman on the N64 but I’ve heard plenty about it, none of it any good. Tempted to find a copy and give it a go for myself.

      Eurogamer posts coming up soon! Roll on the weekend.

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